Real Stories

‘I’d never even heard of the word exploitation until people started saying that’s what was happening to me. I didn’t believe a word of it. I kept thinking why are they interfering and why can’t people just be happy that I’ve got some new mates that actually bother with me?

“…To begin with I thought it was well good that they were a bit older. When I look back now I can see they preyed on me. They made me feel so loved and cared for. Like I was the best thing in the world. Then bad things started happening and I just felt trapped. I felt as though I had no way out.
 
“…Luckily that’s when professionals around me starting noticing stuff that worried them and I was given a support worker. For all this time I felt too scared to say anything. I was so scared I would get in to trouble or that something bad would happen to my family and I couldn’t see a way out.”
 
“With support I was able to understand that these ‘so called’ mates weren’t my mates after all and they were just using me. They helped me see that none of this was my fault. I’ve come a pretty decent way since back then and whilst I still have bad days, I’ve got such good support around me and I’ll always be grateful for that.”
 

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“I loved him. Well that’s what I thought at the time. He looked after me, bought me such nice things that I would never be able to get for myself. I was his princess and he would always tell me that he needed me just as much as I needed him.

“…Then he asked me to sleep with this man he knows because he owed him money. He told me he was going to be killed if he didn’t pay up and that it was me that had the power to save him, so I did it. That’s when the problems really started.  
 
“…He would threaten to kill me and beat me up if I didn’t sleep with who he said. I was so grateful that people around noticed something wasn’t right. I wouldn’t admit it at first, in fact not for a long time but with the right help and support I realised that he didn’t really love me and was just taking advantage of me.
 
“…Thanks to my support workers I’m now in a totally better place and for the first time in a long time feel like myself again. I’ve even started college and am hoping to become a support worker one day so that I can help other children who went through what I did. ”

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JJ is a 17-year-old girl from Warwickshire. She isn’t in education anymore but has had a couple of part time jobs over the last few months. Just before JJ left school, she told her teacher that she had been to a flat in Coventry where there were other young people and adult males. JJ had felt really uncomfortable there and told her teacher that the men at the property were using drugs. JJ was also seeing an older man at the time that was in trouble with the police and she started hanging out with his friends.

JJ’s teacher told social services so that she could get support from a Barnardo’s worker. At first, JJ didn’t want to meet with anyone but her Barnardo’s worker, Amrita, texted her weekly to check in and make sure she was okay. JJ was very wary of meeting Amrita at first as she felt she only wanted to find information out about her and talk about incidents involving the police and her ex-boyfriend. But when JJ did decide to meet her, Amrita told her she was there to help and there was support that Barnardo’s could provide.
 
Amrita helped JJ to write a CV so that she could apply for college courses. She was also chatted to JJ about her mental health and helped her speak to her GP as she felt low. Amrita also support JJ to go to the sexual health clinic to get tested for STIs.
 
JJ was supported to explore her relationships and now she is much more open about her relationships with friends and boyfriends. When JJ restarted a relationship with an ex-boyfriend, she felt confident enough to tell Amrita that she had previously been a victim of domestic abuse – both emotionally and physically. This was reported to the police and JJ was supported along the way.
 
JJ told Amrita that she was very grateful for the constant support and for ‘sorting everything out’ for her and being available whenever she needed her. JJ also had the courage to speak to the police about the abuse and exploitation she experienced. JJ feels safer now.
 
 

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Denise sent explicit pictures of herself to someone older than her who she thought she trusted. These pictures were then shared without her permission on social media, including images of sexual acts being carried out.

After this happened, Denise started working with a Barnardo’s support worker called Jane. At first, she struggled to open up and trust Jane because she didn't know her, but Jane made her feel comfortable and safe. At first they just got to know each other, they talked about like and dislikes and they laughed about things to break the ice.

Once they get to know each other a bit better, Denise started feel a bit more relaxed and began to share more information about herself, she also opened up about taking drugs and her behaviour at school and Jane started to help her see what changes she could make to make her life better.
 
Jane supported Denise by working with her to explore her understanding around healthy relationships and friendships and then they started to talk about sex and sexting. Janed helped Denise to understand that she is was a victim of Child Sexual Exploitation.
 

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Abdul* is a 16-year-old living in Warwickshire. His teachers start to notice that something wasn’t right as he was often seen hanging out with a group of older men at the school gates, misusing drugs, misbehaving at school and skipping school. Abdul was going through a difficult time because he was grieving for his dad who left the country suddenly and Abdul hadn’t really spoken to him since. Abdul was also arguing with his mum a lot because he kept on staying out late. His mum also found out that he had a lot of unexplained money in his bank account and she wanted to know where it came from.

Abdul’s teacher was really concerned so decided to speak to Barnardo’s. Abdul started speaking to a project worker and began to understand that these older men were not his friends and they had coerced him into criminal activity. After a few conversations with his project worker, he decided that it would be good to have a fresh start and move to a new school in a different area. After more time passed, Abdul realised that he had been a victim of criminal exploitation. He started to miss some of his old friends that he’d drifted apart from and some of his hobbies like football. Abdul’s support worker helped him to pick up his hobbies again and supported him to start thinking about his long-term future. He also spoke to Abdul about counselling to help him deal with the issue of his dad suddenly leaving the country. Abdul realised that the way he had been feeling about the lack of contact with his dad may have affected him more than he’d realised.

Abdul now feels much more positive about his future. He has entered several exams and is looking forward to attending college. He also decided to contact his dad to discuss how he is feeling, and his dad has invited him over to help him learn about the building trade. Abdul feels much happier in himself and he’s really looking forward to being reunited with his dad.

*Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

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Maria* is 15-years-old and lives in Warwickshire with her mum and two younger brothers. Maria spends a lot of time on social media because she has low self-esteem and she relies on it to give her more confidence. She feels the need for lots of likes and validation from older people on her social media platforms but this makes her question her relationships and she starts self-harming. After he mum noticed that something wasn’t right, Maria began to get help and she started to understand that seeking validation from older people online is linked to her low self-esteem.

Maria now spends less time online and she blocked and reported the older people who she realised now had made inappropriate contact with her. She also felt empowered to end a relationship with someone else her age who she had met online because it didn’t feel right and it made her feel down. Maria’s support worker helped her deal with her self-esteem issues, and they helped her to understand her identity. This meant that she felt she no longer needed to turn to social media and online relationships with adults for validation. She was helped to explore alternatives to spending time on social media such as watching films, going for a bike ride or taking the dog for a walk. Maria’s mum also felt really relieved that she has now turned a corner after being given support.

*Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

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Tom* is 16 years old and lives with his mum in Warwickshire. He has a difficult relationship with his mum because she drinks alcohol a lot to help deal with the abusive relationships she has with her male partners. Tom finds this really hard, and he finds that smoking weed helps him to cope. The drug dealer that Tom buys weed from realises he’s vulnerable and he starts encouraging Tom to sell drugs on his behalf. This is criminal exploitation. 

Tom starts selling drugs to his school classmates and the drug dealer he’s been speaking with gives him a mobile phone so that they can always keep in touch and Tom can be given instructions. Tom also often goes to his friend’s mum’s house where lots of dealers get together and they encourage Tom and other young people to try class A drugs and start supplying them to their mates. The more time Tom spends at this house, he starts to realise that he is being controlled by these drug dealers and he feels forced into doing things that he doesn’t want to. One of Tom’s friends who is worried about him tells him that Barnardo’s might be able to help. Tom decides to reach out to them to tell them what’s happening. 

Tom starts meeting with Richard*, a Barnardo’s Project Worker. They start to have a chat about what’s going on, Tom’s nervous at first about talking to Richard but he’s really friendly and Tom realises that he can trust him. They work together regularly to help Tom understand the exploitation and abuse that has taken place and Tom starts to understand that he is a victim. After a few weeks of meeting with Richard, Tom also starts to talk about his misuse of drugs. He begins to realise that this was a subconscious reaction to deal with his difficult relationship with his mum. Tom realises that taking drugs masks all the negative feelings and emptiness that he was experiencing.

With the help of Richard, Tom starts to speak to Compass so that they can help him to address his issues with drugs. Compass help Tom to understand the harmful effects of smoking and the possible long-term effects on his mental health. They talk about the alternatives to smoking cannabis and Tom decides to start learning how to write music and start attending music clubs. Compass and Barnardo’s supported Tom by providing information on music clubs in his area and he quickly got involved with a music group and started making good friends with some other young people.

Tom started to find that he wasn’t smoking cannabis as much and listening to music instead would help him to deal with any arguments and fighting that happened between his mum and her partner at the time. Tom continued to meet up with Richard and as they grew closer he started to open up a lot more and even started sharing music and songs he’d written.

As Tom started to focus more on his music and he began spending more time at his girlfriend’s house and feeling happier. His mum would often tell him that she was planning to move away and after a few months she moved far away to another area of the country with her new partner. Tom felt at his lowest point and he had to get support from the local authority to get emergency money, toiletries and access to a food bank. Despite going through a really tough time, he continued to meet with Richard and speak to him over the phone which really helped him.

Tom has since been offered a room in some shared accommodation, where he still lives now. He has also secured a college placement and is set to retake some of his GCSE’s. With the support of Barnardo’s, Tom turned his life around. He is no longer being exploited and he is not involved in any criminal activity. Despite everything he has gone through, he remains positive and shows a huge amount of resilience and determination.
 

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Isabelle* is a 12-year-old girl living in Warwickshire. Her mum has started to notice that something’s not right with her daughter, she’s spending a lot of time on her phone and is being very secretive about it. She also has lots of mood swings and seems down a lot of the time. Isabelle’s mum is really concerned so she decides to ask for help.

Following her mum raising her concerns, Isabelle admits to a professional that she has been speaking to a group of older people online. She’s been really frightened because they started threatening her and telling her they knew where she lived. It turned out that Isabelle was being groomed and exploited online. Isabelle is a victim of online exploitation.

Once Isabelle realised she was being exploited, she was helped by a support worker. She felt that she wasn’t able to talk to anyone before but now she was able to speak about her low self-esteem and how she had been feeling. She has since stopped speaking to the older people online and she feels much more confident.

*Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
 

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